cancer and the attitude

Unfortunately we can’t always see the positive side of cancer because it is such a horrible disease.  Even though we know we can be cured, the process is pretty horrific.  We all handle our emotions differently and sometimes strangers can make us feel better than the people we love the most.  Nobody can imagine the emotional side until that person goes through it themselves.  My father has been so down in the dumps with his health for so many months now that he’s about at his end.  He tries to be really positive and nice to people, but he’s weak and uncomfortable and scared.  Yesterday he looked really good and had an upbeat attitude, today is really difficult.  It’s hard on me because I want him to fight, but he should also have the right to grief and be sad.  We have to let him deal with this his own way and just be there for him and love him.

I really wanted to use this website so people could follow my journey, but since I was too weak, I want to share my fathers journey through my eyes.  Cancer is not pretty, it’s hard on everyone.  People need to know that it’s usually not a death sentence even though it can be tough.  It’s a battle and those who survive usually have a stronger love for life than ever before.

My dad is still bleeding internally and will more than likely need surgery.  The cancer is getting broke down by the chemo and it seems that it broke through the intestinal wall.  He has been on blood thinners for his heart, so he will need to be on the blood thinners for a while before he can have the surgery.  Meanwhile, he is malnourished so he will be receiving food through a picc line.

Please pray for positive strength for my father.  We all need him around for a lot more years and that is what he will need to survive this ordeal.

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